Making Yourself Unhappy

It is likely that you know some unhappy people. In fact, you may be unhappy.

With so many reasons to be happy, why do so many people seem to seek unhappiness?  These unhappy people use social media to stay in touch with other unhappy people and succeed only in reinforcing and justifying their mutual unhappiness.

They can always find things that make them unhappy. They endlessly display their unhappiness to those of us who are closest to them. We can tell them that being unhappy is not healthy. We can provide abundant reasons why they should be happy with their lives but they will not easily be convinced.

Men and women of every age group can fall into the unhappiness conundrum. When asked to explain the reasons and justification for their personal unhappiness, they cannot do so convincingly. When asked to explain what action they plan to take to escape it, they offer no action plan. It is almost as though wallowing in an unhappy place has become comfortable for them: their burden is their duty.

The World around us does have problems. Of that fact, there can be no doubt. A list of those problems includes the persistence of wars, terrorism, racism, nuclear weapon proliferation, poverty, climate change, hunger and pestilence. Add a second layer of lesser problems that include pipeline routings, election results, bullying, transgender rights, drug use, abortion and homelessness.  Upon reading these lists, you may ask how any of us can be happy.

Please reread the items on the lists above. Acknowledge that most of these problems have existed for generations and are likely to persist for years to come. As serious as they are, and they are serious, we must not allow them to make us personally unhappy day after day.

Posting a rant or to making a sanctimonious statement on social media serves no purpose. Telling our friends that we are outraged or distraught changes nothing. If there is any hope of solving any of these problems starts when we take personal ACTION close to home.

World hunger? Volunteer at the local food pantry.

Drug use? Don’t use drugs.

Racism? Obviously, don’t be a racist.

Happy people are committed to action. Unhappy people are committed to unhappiness.

Personal Comment: I am a happy person and those who are unhappy cannot take my happiness away. I just will not allow it. Try that approach yourself; it works.

About authorbillramsey

During his forty-year professional career, Bill Ramsey wrote magazine articles and business newsletters. Now retired in the mountains of western North Carolina, he writes a blog and has published four books. Bill's 2015 collection of concise, real-life essays is titled "What Do YOU Think?" He has also written "Me Now - Who Next? (The Inspiring Story of a Traumatic Brain Injury Recovery)" and "Now That I Think About It. Bill's books and are available from and on all e-readers. See Follow Bill on Facebook at
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4 Responses to Making Yourself Unhappy

  1. Reminds me of the line from “A Christmas Carol” where Scrooge says, “I don’t deserve to be so happy.” That’s pretty much the way I feel most of the time (presidential politics aside).
    It takes a lot of effort to be unhappy. You’ve
    got to really want it . . . lol



    • As you said, “It takes a lot of effort to be unhappy.” I have gone through some unhappy events and losses in my life. We all have. During each of those I found myself completely worn out and sought a way back to happiness. Why don’t habitually unhappy people do that?


  2. allenrizzi says:

    I am generally happy. However, when I’m not happy I don’t blame others – I just seek positive input into my life and keep moving forward.


  3. Blaming others for personal unhappiness is a way to avoid responsibility for taking corrective action. There are ALWAYS others in our lives who can be blamed for making us unhappy. Some may even be trying to do that. Even a spouse or family member may have to be left behind with their own unhappiness..


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