If we are being honest, most of us have some unwanted guests who occupy space in our heads.
Who are they? The list of candidates can be lengthy. Most of them are associated with negative events in our lives. Here are a few examples: a former spouse who treated us badly and then left for good; an employer who was extremely unfair and may even have fired us; a neighbor who has tried to make life miserable; a rapist or burglar who broke into our home; a family member who does not care about us or worse; a drug dealer who we blame for getting us hooked.
How did they get there? They initially put themselves into our brains by the actions they took. They really tried to hurt us and a few did real harm. Naturally, we have to deal with those as they occur. With their actions in the past, we should move on. Often we seem unable to let go.
What do they do there? They show up at unexpected moments during the day or in our dreams at night. Uninvited, they bring nothing but negatives. They pull us away from the quiet moment we were enjoying. They can even get between us and our current friends and family. For example, without any evidence, we may begin to believe that our current partner is doing or is likely to do what the former one did. Our trust in relationships is shaken and our joy is taken. We allow old ghosts to continue haunting us.
What can we do about them? They were guilty, but time has passed. It becomes increasingly important to rid ourselves of their unearned privilege – the privilege of continuing to intervene in our lives. Rather like a renter who does not pay the rent, they will not leave until we evict them.
I am fortunate in that I have only one person who remains an unwelcome presence in my brain. I allow him extremely limited access to my consciousness. He makes an unwanted guest appearance about once a month. He does not stay long before I flip the switch and he is gone. One day soon he will be gone for good.
Consider those unwanted ones who are taking up valuable space in your head. What, if anything, do you plan to do about them?