A popular bumper sticker suggests that we “SHOP LOCAL.” Here is a new concept that perfectly fits the times we are in. It retains the appeal of local but otherwise cuts out the middle man. You know, the actual independent business owner. We call it “LOOT LOCAL” and it is sweeping the country. Here is how it works.
The looter starts by advertising an “Inventory Reduction Sale” to attract bargain hunters? Remember, the merchandise you stole really is your inventory now.
You can sell at “Half Off” and still make a great profit. Remember, you didn’t pay for the merchandise, rent, employees, furnishings or utilities like an actual store does.
You can also advertise “We Don’t Charge Sales Tax.” Customers don’t know (and many don’t care) that yours in not a legitimate, licensed, tax-paying business. There is no way for the tax collector to find you.
However, you should add a substantial charge for “Shipping and Handling.” After all, your risk getting cut by flying glass when you broke in through the store windows and the stuff you hauled out was heavy and had to be handled all the way back to your apartment.
So why not start the business you have always dreamed of having? Others in your city are already in full operation. You can be comforted in knowing you will face no legal challenges because the mayor in your city has told the police to “Stand Down” as a first step in de-funding the entire force. By the time that all gets sorted out you will be wealthy enough to retire.